Dear Horrible Advice, I have a problem. My son is five and enjoys most things small children enjoy except one huge thing. He refuses to eat macaroni and cheese!! It gets worse, I asked him what he doesn’t like about it and he replied “the cheese”. How do I get him to give it another shot? -Distraught Dad.
Dear Distraught Dad, at first thought when I read your inquiry was a memory I had from my childhood. We had an old & sickly dog. She refused to take her pills for her failing kidneys. So my parents used pet treats that had hidden pockets in them to hide the medication in so that our dog would eat her pills. Because, sometimes you have to trick an old sickly dog into digesting what’s good for them so that she doesn’t squirt diarrhea all over the carpet & on your shoes.
But then we realized, that there has never once been a kid who didn’t like Mac & Cheese. We take our jobs very seriously, & don’t appreciate you turning our website into some type of sick joke. It costs our editors good money to keep this site in operation so that we can help people in need, and you’ve crossed the line. THIS SITE IS NOT YOUR PLAYGROUND!!! Furthermore, if you are going to screw with us, at least make your sick twisted jokes believable. Every kid in the world loves that nasty innutritious trash pasta. If they even knew all that toxic fake cheese was more chemical than food they wouldn’t even care because it’s like drugs to them. Hell, I don’t even care, that shit’s delicious. You make me sick Distraught Dad. You’re sick. You can get a bulk supply of mac & cheese here.
And if by chance you do actually have the only single snot nosed temper tantrum mini human in the entire history of the universe that refuses to eat Mac & Cheese, then obviously his upbringing has been extremely subpar & the blame can only be directed to the parents. We’ve already alerted the social services for your crimes. It’s a sad world we live in these days. Perhaps soon, if he’s lucky enough to be placed into foster care that properly nourishes a normal Mac & Cheese habit after you are incarcerated, he can finally begin to experience the pleasures of the long overdue cozy Mac & Cheese diet that he’s always deserved, but never had the chance to develop like all other children already have. Our thought’s and prayers go out to him. Don’t drop the soap Distraught Dad. – David & Daniel.
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